I'm back, since a very long time.

so much sorrow. mayhap too much.
In the space of 4 months or so that I didn't blog, much has changed in my life.
Some things I wished stayed the same or to go back to the way they were.
Some others, I am glad for.
The difference is evident.

I have now friends I can call truest to my fullest extent I can comprehend.
I have reignited my passion in reading. For now I have changed sights to romance novels and specially eyecatching would be of the medieval era of knights, magic and mystics.
I am bound to a test on the 28 April 2011 for driving and quite possibly may fail.
For my instructor is a douche and as sarcastic as can be.

Year 2 has ended and the last year awaits.
Can't believe how fast it takes, to get into this and out as well.
I wish only all went well.
If not might as well go to hell.
Studies went well, much better than before.
But to meet my expectations I will need to work harder even more.

The style in which I speak, come not from winded tales,
But from the passion I found.

not seeing you is more than enough reason to feel sad.
really can't believe I had said this before..
but as it is it still is.
I swear you have been the trigger to my tears, the gash of my pain, the hole in my heart.
Countless in my life already I can say is the number of times I shed tears for you.
Before you I never knew, that I could possibly feel this way.
Now without you I am all grey.
I know not how to overcome these feelings for you.

It's just feels like I'm running out of time..
And so true I will feel, unless you tell me that there is a me and you.
I held and am holding on for so long, not knowing what will come and what will not.
But now, all seems a virtually.
I am exasperated.
I am confused.
I am hurt.
I am miserable.
I am pitiable.
I am tired.
I am heartbroken.
All this because of you I dare say, and only the heaven knows how much I wish for you to correct this in the way that I want.
I do not understand what you have been through and thus I can offer no advice.
But from my eyes I don't see true in what you say and what you do.
Accept and pass it is all I can say. Not to forget, not that way.
It happened for a reason and I pray the reason is us.
All this and I don't know what to do.
All this because of you.

Might there be a time when I will give up?
I do not know, for I do not wish so.
Damned.
I know not how much longer I can't hold.
And forever, is a definite no.
Sooner or later, the latter I hope.
Never would the best but we both know that's a given no.
So please, let me know you are worth it.
Else, I might go.

Wouldn't it be ironic that I will show you how to move on?

This to show how much I care.
You might be too hard to love I swear.
And at the end of my life, I'll make sure you're there.

All this I write with a tear in my eye, and with my word that it is with truth I speak.
Now that I let it all out, whoever you might be, won't you come to me?

Might I set a time when it's enough?

Might I add, ITS 2011!
And the best of 2010 was to meet you, and also mayhap it be the worst.
And so I shall end this post, first of the new year, and with hope, not the last.